So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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