but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You smell like stripper and shame
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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