the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
as a side note pls kill me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
