This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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