That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
