Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
