in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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