so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
