you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
