found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
