Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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