You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
