Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
