dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize