If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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