ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
