If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
