This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
