plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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