I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize