She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
