FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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