I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
