You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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