i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
