I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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