You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize