She is in my trunk
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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