Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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