There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
