I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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