I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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