Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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