No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
