i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
