Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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