I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize