At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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