so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
