just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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