One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
