Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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