two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
