Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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