If i come over, it means nothing
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
