Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I need moral support for this bender
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
