also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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