I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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