Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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