Are we in a gay sports bar?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize