I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
