just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I need to calm my uterus...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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