Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
