Sry I called you an 8
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
