PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
