I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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