I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
