normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
